Pregnancy Advice

•March 13, 2012 • 2 Comments

From the first moment you announce that you are pregnant, you will receive unsolicited advice. You never asked for it. You never wanted it. It will come all the same.

I’m not great at secrets, so I told the world about my pregnancy fairly early on. We didn’t know the sex of the baby yet. We didn’t even know if we wanted to know the sex of the baby. We were just excited and wanted people to be excited for us.

One co-worker who had never really spoken much to me wanted to know the name of the baby. We didn’t even know the sex yet. When I refused to tell her, she actually looked offended. She hasn’t really spoken to me since. Another co-worker told me how his wife was sick everyday of her pregnancy. When I told him that I was feeling fine and actually enjoying being pregnant, he told me that labor would be beyond painful. It was as if he wanted me to suffer because his wife had. A few friends told me to expect insane cravings and whirling mood swings. When I didn’t get them, they kept assuring me that it was only a matter of time.

The advice I received was ridiculous.

One friend said I couldn’t live without a video monitor. Another told me that if I didn’t buy a bouncy seat I’d be lost – in fact I’d better buy two just in case. Many told me that if I didn’t breastfeed, I was a bad mom. Others were offended that my husband hadn’t purchased me a Mother’s Day card. They felt that I was already a mother while I was pregnant and so deserved a card. The fact that I wasn’t offended didn’t sway them. They were offended for me.

I figured something out really quickly. Sometimes it’s best to be outrageous. And lie – lie a lot.

I told everyone that I was going to name my son, Benedict Cumberbatch. I told them that I didn’t believe in baby monitors, or bouncy seats, or breasts. When they stared at my in disbelief, I smiled. Eventually people stopped giving me advice. It was nice.

Learn one thing and learn it now (consider it my advice to you). This is your child. You make the decisions. If you don’t want to tell people the name, don’t. If you want to breastfeed, bottle feed, whatever – go for it. Don’t let anyone make decisions for you. Whatever you decide is the best choice for you and your child.

And good luck.

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Postpartum-ness

•March 13, 2012 • Leave a Comment

I’ve never been good with blogs. I suppose I should let whoever is reading this know this fact right off the bat. It is possible (and incredibly likely) that I will get about five posts into this and then it will sit up here for months, completely abandoned.

That being said, I think I probably should have some sort of outlet for what I am aptly naming my “postpartum-ness”. This is what I calling all of the weird (and unexpected) things that have happened to me since I gave birth to my son, Ciaran, approximately five months ago.

The hope is that if you’re going through the same stuff I am, you’ll sympathize. If you’re not quite there yet, you’ll learn. If you’re not planning on ever being there, you’ll probably laugh. I know my best friend (who told me to start a postpartum blog) thought many of my stories were hilarious.

So here is my blog about Postpartum Me. Thanks for dropping in.